I don't know

It is tiring for me for the past few days.

Having the worst arguement with my mum and suddenly I feel so defenceless. It made me
realise there is no one i can rely on except myself. I felt that no one seem to understand me
except my friends. My mum don't understand from my point of view, she is always the one
making me unhappy but I just feel that she seem too self-centred.

I felt so dejected after the arguement with mum , I seem to have all the negative vices and nothing really positive being a person , being my mum;s children. She always find faults with me and "slap" me with insulting words. Those slaps mean nothing but the more it come on your face the more I felt so numb.

I really don't feel like coming to this place called home. Sad to say there is no place I can run away. Everyday, I had been tolerating and unable to release my sadness but of the person I need most seem to avoid this topic.

Infact, I question and start to doubt a chinese saying, a person who can enjoy the harvest with you but unable to survive the pain with u. Sad to say, I already know the answer and find no meaning in being together with someone who is not there whenever I need him.

I just feel all these should end because one day I know who held my hand. I am the one holding
those hands , i am one facing my destiny.

reis....