My thought

I wronged someone today, another big misunderstanding and partially my paranoid behavior. I kind of dislike myself as I am unable to seal my insecurity. I always feel that in a relationship, trust is important but somehow I can't find this sense of security I am seeking in now. after a cycle of break-up with him and reunite.I really thanked god for his blessing, for everything. Maybe I valued this relationship too much and somehow din understand life is just not just r/ship. It had many meanings and I am still seeking. Recently, I had been avoiding the "M" topic bring up by my colleagues, friends and everyone. I will just turn jelly or silent. I couldn't help but feel sorry for myself curling up in my shell. My relationship had been running smoothly lately and he is treating me nicer. What really made us stressed out is to overcome this trust? I din trust him as before but he did trust me. Many times, I wanted to break this trust he had on me. Then I reflect on myself, why am I destroying my own relationship.

There are many things going through my mind. Till today, I qn am I on the direction to pursue my happiness? Am i on the right path? My guy give me the impression he want to make me happy but he want his freedom. ............... I do lament about today whenI return home down that lonely road. I was rather upset. He did acc me by talking to me on the phone. Maybe I am afraid of loneliness, even he was worried I need someone to acc me to have dinner and he did have dinner with me. He din sent me back because his leg was injuried. Maybe I should have been more understaning, more grown-up but I am just curled back into my shell again.

There are many unpredictable things that happen in life. At 24 years old, I feel blessed thatbI am alive today. I need to set my own objectives.

- Get a driving license
- Enrol into selfgrooming class - makeup, manicure and etc
- learn new skill - makeup, cooking and etc...
- Travel around to see more of the world
- Face my flaws

Love myself more, reis