i feel i am tired of FEELIN SORRY FOR MYSELF ,

I always felt that when two person are together , they will learn to cherish each other .

I wanted a nice date
today ~ there is always someone who dailed to do this .

sorry my date was spoilt , i called him at 12.58pm when he just told me he just waked up . Then , he asked he probably need a few more hours , thing to do , to wash clothes and iron . Actually frankly he should have , done it yesterday night when he is free to be exact . Promises really are meant to be broken . Guy , pls dun ever promise ppl if ya cant do it . He say i borrow a vcd movie , can we probably stay at home and watch . STAY AT HOME , I HAD BEEN STAYIN FOR THE PAST DUNNO HOW MANY WKEND . EVEN THE ONLY OUTING WHEN WE GO GREAT WORLD , MARK , GARY WILL BE CALLING TO MEET AT 6PM ... ISNT SAT OUT DAY ? don't keep saying this sentence if u are pracisin double standard yourself. I wonder if this fellow is sincere enough he would have fixed a time with me to go out not i had to wait till he wake up .

Yeah , yesterday we both though his work would end early , and in the end it din . To be exact , he actually sms me that he wanna to watch 7.30pm soccar on national stadium . Okie, so we both went home . Full stop. Our date din come true. AND FRIDAY NIGHT I EVEN ASK THE zara guy jon to reserve the clothes for me cos sat we be going

now i am ready to go out , full of anticipation . Yes , i believe some effort should be made to make someone else happy . Friday he went ktv with colleagues and in the end he dare to say he din enjoyed . Then why did you go ktv till 2am and next day u had to wake up at 8 for work . And the next day when u return , all u can say is yet another disappointing thing . sorry i am tired , i need to sleep .

he keep asking me " did u forgotten my goodness ? say eg. wed i go joggin with my colleagues but after that i still acc u for dinner . Yup because i beg for it . Today , i thought he is going to bring me out for a nice movie or something , sad to say reality is cruel. He told me i haven got my ironing and washing done . NO TIME AGAIN . he also say " hey i rejected to go out with mark(fren_), u should appreciate that . and in the end , even if he did rejected , he got no time to go out with me .

This is really disappointing , i need a retail therphy , wanan to get something for my family . do you know that ? i had enough , if u really ask me to consider . all i can say yup the heart is bleeding till probably i cant remember how he treat me now .

REIS

everything is a mistake

My major event was yesterday . I was in charge of distributing the goodies bag and help out . It had been a wonderful and hectic day when I got to interact with most of colleagues. That was probably the only time we talk more than a few minutes .

I love the satisfaction this job bring me but the tiredness wasn't rewarding with the extra ot that I put in .

today , everyone in the office was tired and slack. We were feeling tired and I don't even feel like doing anything . this is probably my last week here . I was wondering that happy time are really short-lived . I dunno him , yup today is our anniversery but kind of I dun want to celebrate it .
We hasn't been on talking term much and more or less I kind of feel we drift apart . When two person are stubborn and refused to give in , it agravated the matter.

I probably admit i was wrong in the sense i kind of feel irritated by his friends. Almost every evening some magical phone call will be coming in to ask him out for a drink . Sat was actually our day but his friend called him and half of the day , 6pm onward he went out with them . I was unhappy , i probably snapped at him. But this is the 3rd sat that routine are repeating . I do agreed everyone should have some social life but somehow the planning wasn't quite right . yup , there are times i learn to sppreciate even though he went out with friends till wee hours of the night , the next morning he still keep his promise to go joggin with me .

When is the last time i seriously went for a day date? I simply cannot recall . Sometime when weekday i feel too tired , i was thining i can't be botner to go out during wkend . But when i was lazing at home during weekend , i kind of feel it is so boring . Going out freshened me up in some sense especially when i need to unwind . I haven went to the beach i wanted to go so much , i havent done alot of things i wanted to do .

I finally had enough , i had enough of arguement , i need a rest badly . when ppl had insufficient sleep , he or she will have a bad hair day and my tummy aches is still coming back . I had drink too much yakult till i feel like puking . He probably doesn't understand or ask me how am i been ? he simply just keep rattling at me and being defensive about his friends. Because i feel they were too "free" and keep arranging this n that. When is the last time i had a proper talk with him .dinner time were fast and sometime we just go home straight . when is the time i can have a good talk with him . I seriously lost touch of it .

I dun wannt to weep , i feel so depressed . anyway , i believe this wkend retail theraphy will helps . I dunno what i am doing . sch fee is haunting me again ............
and i need a shopping buddy ............

sometime i feel he just react too much and argue with me . Love can be so painful and tiring no matter how hard you try . he is still so selfish , when he is tired and stress i just give in , when he wanan to go out i just give in .



reis

marriage

this is such a sensitive topic , probably people of my age haven't thought about it .

When i was workin in this team , i am drawn by the positive side of marriage , about givign birth to kids. How i wish i could start a family i can called my own ?

why do u wanna to get married ? why do u wanan to buy a house?

- is it because i wanna to be with him or probably i just wanna to get out of my house .
- i kind of feel spilt when we had to go our separate homes after dinner

Love can be a potent that kill u or make u full of ecstasy . Yup , i am contradicting at time . sometime , i hope i am a freed person , sometime i hope i had someone to hold my hand for the rest of my life. That is probably thinking that set your apart from other.

i know i still got one more year of studies before i officially got my owl and precisely i hope we can work hard together .

jia you !!

reis

happy or not ?

Another busy day at work , I am really learning alot of new things here . Although , my fav lunch buddy is no longer here , I really don't know what to do . I din get to eat my fav fried fish with rice for some silliness. I was wondering , am i this pathetic ?Yup today acc my ic to meet client and kind of listen alot and learn .

Probably , I don't mind having lunch myself . I feel I wasted so much money on this and that .
angry ? yup , cos i had been wanting that nice nice bag for a long time , that accessorize white bag costing 70 plus ... hais , forget it .

studies and results come out today ? am i happy ? finally passed mgt account .
Dearies bring me to genki to have dinner , thank him for celebrating though i am really not in the mood . I really appreciate his thought.

Did a friend's word wake me up? Recently , although i had been in a depressed mode but somehow those words come true . Love wasn't bad , love was just ...
Alot of times , probably I dun understand him that much or he dun understand me .
Money itself can be a big issue . No matter going dutch or whether u pay or he pay . Everyone did encounter this dilemma ....Relationship can be distorted by this type of matter . am i a saver , spender , or maybe it depend on the type ofthing i valued , those i don't/

which gals dun wish to be pampered , to be treated to fine dining , to be like a princess for just one day .... probably your birthday..........

i am just so tired from work , i kind of feel am i considerate or not ? does he feel my heart too ?
commitment is just so scary , i think i mentioned something on the bus and i din get any reply . anyway , why am i thinking this when marriage to me is drifting away .


Gambatte

feel like going for ktv ... but no one wnana to go

wanna to go ktv ,? i really can't remember when is the last time i had a hearty time ktv

thought i could go ktv last night but last min got some " coo--- koo " incident and i ended up drowning my own bi-ru .

it is a fucked up world and and crappy instinct !

i hate it! the fucked up world

the fucked up ppl

the fucked up idiot

i justa wanan to sing wholeheartly

fuck off asshole