at some point of my life

I felt my sickness wore me down , and the people around me suffered . I understand their care , their concern for me and i feel so stressed up . I am in a middle of a great relatonship with this guy and somehow , we are both selfish in our way . When we argues , we just failed to realised we argued cos

" we simply cared too much for one another ."

sometimes , it just hard to explain the situation i am in when the other person have their own situation to state . In some ways , neither he nor i are wrong . I just want to learn to forgive and forget time ... I realised time flies and in such a way that we are too bothered with "other" . We failed to see the unerderlying meaning within us . sometimes , love itself create possesiveness , because we just wanna to " own " that person . Getting exclusive right wasn;t a bad idea , but there should some level of understanding cos we know our limits , we would never cross that boundaries . In my case , what did i do ?

did i do harmless flirting to another person ? my close fren should have know i would never did such a thing. Sometime , i guess i should make my stand clear . Many times , we are troubled and we tend to push emotion burden to another person , trying to escape reality . It aren't truth cos we are just escapist , why can;t u bravely tell the person u love there is something wrong with the relationship and probably u two can have a good talk about it .

what really matters to me ? is me n HIM . but somehow ... we dun seem to be able to talk about it . I am afraid that loving someone is a long enduring journey that suffice pains , happiness . Deja vu . Whenever i keep doubting myself , i will feel my heart to tell the truth . Cos i know i never wanan to lose that thing i had found again. Life is a journey full of companionships and i really hope that i won'y be so easily affected by any nobody .

always reis n leon

down time - sick

I had finally fell sick and surendered for someone to take good care of me . Work was chaotic today because i keep making the same calculation errors . My head was spinning till I feel so giddy . along that pavement of orchard road , i almost faint . For the first time , I feel sick , sick of work , sick of myself . I simply detested myself why din i took good care of myself . I was glad He was there in the mid afternoon bringing medicine for me . But at that time , i din realised i had worsened . I knew i hasn;t meant to be complacent but every steps i walked , my muscle aches terribly . I could sense anxiety and worriness in him . There were no way to stop myself almost meeting my breaking down point . The working hour of 12 hours shift kills me . No wonder my partners guowei quitted . another pisces fren joined me , her name was joelin, she was darn understanding , offering to carry the stocks up and down . My strength were a minimum cos I could hardly lift the door . Anxiously , i was beginning to countdown till work ended . He was very understanding, getting mineral bottle and one whole big pack of watson tissue for me . I keep sneezing . Next , we got into a cab cos i really couldn't take it . It was his warmth , care and concern that make me melts . Never should we be a workaholic . Sufficient Rest is compulsory . Tml is finally the last day of my roadshow and All i hope is everything turns alright .

dreams ?

What had happened recently ?

my redemptions partner guowei said he was too tired to continue with the roadshow and wanted a quit . I feel adamant about it , and i kept grumbling . Am i wrong? Yup , prehape i should have been in his situation and understands . anyway , wish him all the best . He was one nice buddy , take care guowei !!! the 12hours shift work might be tiring . I had been doing mental calculation for one whole day . Guess what ? I think my MSEXCEL had improved because work forced me . my cat is leaving soon in august for her dream , for herself and everything , leaving her heart . My buddy yen is leaving even sooner and i got a mix ups with the date 2TH JULY 06 . so what am i doing now ? still working when i failed to accomplish my smallest and a dutiful fren . i simply miss her . when we are down n broke , she is always there . i feel so amazing we are still friends for so many years . Nevertheless they are pursuing their own dreamS.

then supposely what are my dreams?

I do have ...

1. Get a nice job that enable me to run , jump , travel around ,actively prehaps
options :
- event coordinator ?
- wedding planner ?
- matchmaking agent ?
- florist ?
- makeup artist

2. to love my family .

3. get married and be a "tai tai" ( fat hope issue )

4. be a housewife and in btw doing part timer job ?n getting married to a nice guy - no chance :<>
one out of 10 .

5. continue pursuing my studies - going aussie or japan for my thesis for MBA

6. able to travel around world with no worries ( that is without any financial or emotional attachment )

steamboat , bowling ,fun !!!

all the "girls " having photo especially the two behind , so cheeky, joan , jeannette , lynnette , me , raw n gerald


that is my suan-ing kaki at work , mr. gerald , a "qin shou" , at the bowling alley that's my wooden block posing ... at arcade

me sulking at my own unhappiness about work ....mr. S?

my fav mei mei jeanette , can u believed me 21 , she 14 cAN clinque ... haha my working place , the back of uncle lawerence , top sale man ?

outing with sony colleague to marina south for steamboat .... so happy !!!

13th june , went out with colleague and the rest for steamboat at marina . Finally went bowling , Almost every time , i hit the "drain " . In the end , I managed to get 8 pins with the help of leonard for every round , but atleast i finally striked once. Steamboat ws fantastic with the help of my personal cook mr. ang . It was simply amazing that despite the heat , he could still whip up good BBq meat . As for me , my only and sincere contribution is to peel the prawn shells for joan , for leonard , for everyone . it was my first time peeling prawn .

Love simply hurts

Time flies , growing up was never a choice but simply we embrace the process. I detests growing up , having to shoulder more responsiblities ever since . If times reverse ,I wish it stay now forever . I realised I had been hurt today . I tasted bitterness in love . When had love comes when courage can't do anything , when understanding failed. It was utterly despondent to be reminded , love hurts .

I felt so special tonight , it was as if everything seems predestined . Work wasn't smooth today , i had a vexing day calculating the memory sticks and the accounts din tallied ? Dearie come and meet me and the rest for dinner , it was rather fun n enjoyable . On the way home , i told leonard that gerald and rawlinson touched my ears. Somehow he seem to be mindful and on the bus he din say anything . It wasn;t till i suddenly feels why do ppl think too much?

I seriously din know how to talk to him nor do i feel like facing him . I tried to reach home earlier bidding goodbye as if it was the last time i would ever see him again . Unhappiness do overwhelm , i wonders at certain point in life , we do misunderstand people and i was wrong in jumping into the conclusion that he dislike me talking "dirty jokes" but instead it was another issue . The bridge was kind of our connection , little did i expect he saw me standing there staring at the reservoir . Was it fate ? was it concidental ? i really don't know . I wonders about commitment and being there for someone whenever he needs u . It was as if when every morning the first person u wish to see beside your bed was HIM .


" love just happens naturally"

love reis love leonard

mixed feeling - Till the end .?

I feel so losted , some mixed feeling about everyone . Today at work , i made some blunder , i accidentally put the demo battery in the customer's camera case and forgot to take it back till i realised it was then too late . Told joan about it and she suggested calling up my customer. luckily , she lived around my district and she wanan to return me . I was adamant toget back the battery when dearie sms me he come n pick me up . I finally told him cos i intend to settle this issue myself since my dearie got an exam tml morning . Was worried cos i just hope all the best for his exam .!!! leonard gambattez okie!

"sometimes i just feel as if he can shouldered all my problem . "

just ended the conversation with ah cat and realise she is leaving middle east for 2 years for good to become an air stewardress . Really feels upset or kind of unwilling to let my buddy go . When ppl grew up , they purse their dream , for cat i wish her all the best . Contrary i wanna to send her off from the airport . i suddenly realised that i detest departure , it wasn;t a good thing . :<

late june - cat's leaving - REQUEST FOR A SCRAP BOOk - pw n liping did u hear that ?
july 12th - yen leaving for new zealand studies



so depressing . very very depressing .

"can friendship withstand time ?"

reis

Till the end

All this precious moments, with you by my side
Must be a gift from heaven, that are holding me all night
I don't know how I found you
I am thankful that I have
Now that I have a love so true
To hold, to keep, to share

In my heart, I can no longer hold inside
All of the love I used to hide
I抣l always be with you until the very end
In this world there is no place I rather be
You are my life, my soul, my girl
And through it all, I know you will come to see
That you are the one

Till the end