trying to get over

This week I am starting and trying really hard to get over. I realised that many things are not meant to be and afterall I had been hurt by him a 2nd time. Will grow stronger day by day. Hopefully god will bring a good man into my life who love and cherish me. Let things go its natural way. Okie my KL trip had to be postponed later.

Well recently I understand that most of my friends are really concerned about me and trying to lift me out of my hole.

The top ten ppl to thank :

1. Family- brother!
2. Girlfren - LP, cat , wei and yen
3. Colleagues
4. Adrian
5. Antony
6. Roger
7. Sunshine boy
8. anyone who talked to me

Well last night went vivo city with my gf shopping for shoes and a little boy come up to me to play. Actually this is the first time got kid approach me . Well, he is really cute to ask me to help me with the mini toy fan he had. anyway went to charles & keith, din get the shoe i wanted but the sale asst was really helpful. Lp managed to buy a pair of flatie.

For August agenda,

- Palau Ubin trip double date next wk
- Weekly Driving Theory practice
- Dinner date on 8th with Mr.Sunshine
- Meet-up with Jessie, Yen and Kaini (buy KN's birthday present)
- Springcleaning part 2
- Mayday concert
- KL Trip


Gambatte Reiko san !

passing another day :> stronger

i wonder how do I still survive till today? I tot after leo left me , my world will collapse. I realised even till today when he called me to ask about me. I felt his selfishness. Still treating me like a spare tyre, refusing to leave me alone. he just love himself too much, this fellow got a really pathetic life. Anyway I decided to stop grumbling and look forward to everyday. count my blessing we had break up:> at least, I wont suffered under his tyranny. for a man who disregard that he had hurt someone....... and refused to admit that, I got no comment. He is a bastard. Fuck off leonard ang.

Well, today I had a really tiring day doing alot of work and with a spinning headache. Feel tired

and back ache. My back had never hurt so much before till now. I keep wanting to sit down just to rest. Meet my fren for dinner and got a nice breakfast from my fav bakery. :>

Feel that I am blessed with frens who love me.

Reis..

fun time

Had a really busy day and many unfinished work. DT was on MC 3 days and I had to cover her work. Well, well sometime the it is good that work keep me occupied and i still had my driving theory to worry.... erm... had a good talk with someone today and get to share what ever that happened . I guess it is part and parcel of life to let go. We just grow stronger from all these.

Reis... ready to take off:>

Smiles... wonderful days are right ahead.

heartbroken

Well, leo and me broke up yesterday. It ended in a way that neither of us wanted it to be. after all we had a try and it din worked out. My heart is hurtful this time but probably taking it more calmly and a lesser time to overcome it. Love is afterall a painful process especially heartbreak.

I hope I will survive this ordeal. Jia you and I want to move on.

at the moment, I am feeling peace. I felt neither anyone is in the wrong. We both deserve someone better and there I hope mr.right may appear one day to me. I want a relationship that is rewarding and happy.

C.l

A messy life

Feel bothered and upset because some issues I had been keeping to myself.
LG say I feel sad recently and she can sensed it.

Work
Stressed by the everything, all the politic and work. People are just out to pull you down and
we can't really trust anyone. Am pissed off by the way things are being done, conformity, rigidity and everything seems so immature.

Family
What can I say about a home devoid of the kind of warmth I had been seeking for? Going home everyday facing 4 walls, having a mum who like to talk at the top of her voice, invading my privacy and a dad who can't be bother . The only warmth I can seek is my brother.

Relationship
I thought things had gotten back to "happy" state and living really blissfully for the past two months and terror struck. He told me he need some time alone and his private time. I am scared when he is moody, simply afraid that things can't work out. Had a "talk" with him but I know it is the wrong time. I had been jamming ppl's lives on a lovely weekend. Sorry for friends that I did the invasion. I can't help feeling so not looking forward to weekend. Not doing anything solid,I feel so trapped. I know I am always so dependent on him recently. It is kind of irritating that I feel like a pest to him. so many negatively that your partner is uninterested in "couple time" Maybe life become mundane. Many places I wanna to explore but ....................there is just no one around to acc me.

If you happen to be feeling bored on a weekend and keen to explore the places with me, let me know, wanan to go

1. ECP - to watch beautiful sunrise, cycling and have fun looking at the beach, i love the solitude from the sea.

2. Movie- Harry Potter

3. Singapore Flyer
I haven't been up those flyer

4. Goodwood park hotel buffet

5. church on sunday

Well, i envied the stability my friend had with their bf and I do hope one day this stability will come to me. Shall prayed tonight.

Gotten to work hard for myself and can't rely on anyone.

Love myself THE MOST.

Reisis

My weekend

I had a nice weekend with dearie and family. Infact was angry with him for being sulky n weird about his "private time". I was banging on the wall another time by confrontation with him. Went to buy his b day pressie on sat and afternoon come back and had a small talk before we were halfway stopped- family outing. Okie, we went ahead to Chili for our dinner and had a rather nice and tasy meal. Till then, his parents wanan to watch movie and we pop by causeway point for movie till the late. I just watched a scary movie which I was rather frightened by the scene and black and white picture of those.....dead bodies. Okie, it sent a chill down my spine. Sat I feel I had made the right choice communicating with him.

Sun

I feel I had a very lazy day and dearie went for his morning soccer planting a kiss on me at the door. I proceed to his room to tidy up the messy books and etc. Made some reorganization before I went downstair for my favorite prata. heee and I bought some nice snack for us, rent a comedy to watch. It was such a normal day. I wish life can be simple just like this. Took a nap till 4plus before he talked to me and ask me about my family. I feel I forgot about my family, there is nothing today between my mum n me, nothing much about bro as I seldom see him. should I spent more time with my family? I cant simply say because the walls are too high. Well for bro, we should communicate. I also wish I had a happier family life but facing a high wall and critisim , I understand what my mum is driving at. I wish r/ship can be improved abit more.

Reis

bkk here i am

Our trip to bkk(our 4th oversea trip in 3 years)

After what i meanto be the most memorable and exciting trip. we were really excited about bkk where time seem to fly so fast! We visited the most sought-after shopping districts MBK, chutuchak, Suan lum, platimum mall, pratnum, baiyoke skyline, Central world and erawam shine in 4 days.

These 4 days had been memorable except leo was ....too vain to take picture because I forgot to bring his styling gel and he simply wish to mininise taking some pictures. Well, period. We had our very first fish massage, and thai massage. Cant imagine leo's frightened look when he saw those fish nimbling his feet skin cell. haha. It was quie fun and we had a really good laugh. The only wrong thing I should apologise is being really mean to leo's friend....hmm I realise my mistake cos I selfishly told him it was meant to be out trip and dont feel like ppl intruding. okie, selfish girl was forgiven in the end.

Realising that we had the most fantastic japanese food in bkk, a few trips to the tailor, and I really enjoy the night view. feel great to be hugged to bed every night and he was always the one to wake me up.

love everyone

pissed off

pissed off before a few hours and i be flying to bkk...................... mr last min. well known

Last weekend

I know it sound backtrack abit but somehow I would like to blog about last weekend . IA wonder-ful weekend with dearie. We had spent a solid Fri, sat and sun together. Maybe we had been seeing too much of each other. Well, Friday was a walk with tiffy and dearie at the park. We had our ice-cream and just a simple walk to remember but it was nice.

Saturday

Morning was hectic with sending leo's mum to the ferry and we went to geylang to eat the yong he dou jiang. So nice and had a full b-runch and finally dearie send me to visit my organic event at Tanglin. We come back home for a short nap and finally out for buffet at suntec. Was celebrating Mark's bday and he bring hi new gf. Look mature and nice to me. The chinese buffet was great except I got no opportunity to capture the best moment.Finally 7 of us went to watch movie Transformers 2. Get to see my bumble bee and it was rather exciting though. I was gripping his shirt at certain part of the movie.

Sunday

Home sweet home, He went out for soccer while i stay at home gathering info on bkk trip. Well, we watched the movie "confession of a shopperholic and doze off abit before fetching his mum back from bintan. Cool, had a messy dinner at east coast park and off we went home watching our tv.....

I finally permed my hair, living with another personality now.

My thought

I wronged someone today, another big misunderstanding and partially my paranoid behavior. I kind of dislike myself as I am unable to seal my insecurity. I always feel that in a relationship, trust is important but somehow I can't find this sense of security I am seeking in now. after a cycle of break-up with him and reunite.I really thanked god for his blessing, for everything. Maybe I valued this relationship too much and somehow din understand life is just not just r/ship. It had many meanings and I am still seeking. Recently, I had been avoiding the "M" topic bring up by my colleagues, friends and everyone. I will just turn jelly or silent. I couldn't help but feel sorry for myself curling up in my shell. My relationship had been running smoothly lately and he is treating me nicer. What really made us stressed out is to overcome this trust? I din trust him as before but he did trust me. Many times, I wanted to break this trust he had on me. Then I reflect on myself, why am I destroying my own relationship.

There are many things going through my mind. Till today, I qn am I on the direction to pursue my happiness? Am i on the right path? My guy give me the impression he want to make me happy but he want his freedom. ............... I do lament about today whenI return home down that lonely road. I was rather upset. He did acc me by talking to me on the phone. Maybe I am afraid of loneliness, even he was worried I need someone to acc me to have dinner and he did have dinner with me. He din sent me back because his leg was injuried. Maybe I should have been more understaning, more grown-up but I am just curled back into my shell again.

There are many unpredictable things that happen in life. At 24 years old, I feel blessed thatbI am alive today. I need to set my own objectives.

- Get a driving license
- Enrol into selfgrooming class - makeup, manicure and etc
- learn new skill - makeup, cooking and etc...
- Travel around to see more of the world
- Face my flaws

Love myself more, reis

Changes?

Suddenly I feel I had changed. My perspectives changes seemingly the innocent simple minded girl no longer existed. Time and again , I feel like going back to be myself but my favorite character seem overtake by another ME. How many mutiple personalities does one person had or had time, situation turned a person like this? Happy?

Heard many things at work, was surprised when someone shared with us a part of himself. Well, I din really expected his life to be like this, it was an experience. Hmm, then he was encouraging me. I jus shared with JW about my new perspective and she asked me why do I view this way? Even DH asked me the same qn. Maybe it is just like this.

gambatte.

Reis