i feel complicated

I suddenly realised that when thing get difficuit , the only thing u can do is to be positive and counter it . Family life was a messy issue , it is really complicated for me to comment on it . Cos even I am unsure why it turned out to become like this .I feel no pain , i feel no happiness about it but I just don't think so much and do my part. sometime i feel life would have been better if certain ppl become more sensible , mature but it din turn out like this . Last night , i had the urge to just run out of the house and i need someone by my side badly. just alone /

Was browsing at frenster and realised the differ changes most of my frens had . I would say it is for the better. about my goals ...

- first to get a job in june/july , infact i wanan to be a wedding planner , or event organiser.
- to repay all the education loan i take
- to travel to japan , holland, uk ( a few more years)
- to stay happy , give a treat to all those friends , my family who helped me before
- to alter a minor problem
- to get married in 5 years time (hopefully got someone still want me )


one must have goals or life will lose it meaning !

to love myself more

uncertainty is scary

although this semester started to get more lonelier but I am glad to have a few close friends who are still in this school . Glad to start chatting with them more often and having lunch with ppl that I seldom interact. My social bug is acting up again , to a certain extent I am an over-extrovert person while sometimes i act act nonchalant toward ppl.

I had been stressed up , losing sleep and tired . The individual case study is slowly killing me like a potent toxic . Believe it or not , it is the toughest i had . No one dare to lend me their project cos they failed it or just pass barely . Indeed , I had been trying to get myself into reading these 15 pages thingy and conceptualizing how to come up with 4k words for rodney.

omg , today went for sm lesson , i was there alone fighting , struggling to be more alert , scared that I forgot to note down impt thing . Then , after class I went library and do some reading . I really feel on the verge of insanity . I must conquer sm and mc !!!

gambatte ....haiz ... i really need an energy booster

the simple act of love is happiness

Had a wonderful weekend with dearie and the simplest thought that he planned sat outing was fun . We went to kbox for klunch and finally put a stop to out ktv cravings with the many funny songs we sung . I din realise he recorded the entire singing and those funny chit-chats we had . Only when last night I was in his room , we just sit there listening and joking .



Finally , I had been to ikea tampines thanks to him and my many frens esp lp , wei and vincent who come to my rescue especially we din check the street directory and proceed there. ha , we asked his mum to come along cos i guess she may wanan to get something (very good at DIY home decoration and things) and had a good lunch . I finally tasted my fav meatball and the chicken wing this time is better . I would said the dessert daim choco cake + apple pie is good but kind of expensive . We walked for 3 hours before deciding to get what . His mum got a dark brown shelf while dearie was thinking to get a nice chair or a sofa bed. In the end , he got a leather chair for himself . By 8pm we were exhausted and moving the furniture up his house whereby he started assembling while i get a small rest in the comfort of aircon . Then , I proceed to shift his furniture and help him to place his chair. His mum and him were outside assembling the shelves . it was a fruitful day and we end it with maggi mee cos we were all too exhausted and hungry.

okie another two more upcoming projects

mc group project
sm individual killer project ---omg

sick

what a year to start ....

I am down with flu , cough and sorethroat on lst jan 08 . Now it is just another 2 weeks and I had my eye sore + sorethroat . is there a problem with my health ?

Then I went jogging with wei the other day and got myself in pain with muscle aches .
'
I hate it !!! I really must think of way to keep myself healthy, infact I deserve it for sorethroat cos I had satay , french fries , prata , fried food last sat n sun . ok , shall drink more water and liang cha to dispel the heaty elements .

Been chatting with ah cat , think she is kind of down in japan , hope all goes well for her after 3 more weeks . Should go temple and pray for all my friends especially after cny (the start of new year) . Time to jio them out to pray after cny .

tml sch starting ... hmm , lazy to wake up so early when i tries to set my alarm at 8 and instead i continue to sleep till 10 am. omg bad, must start training to sleep early.

reis

another sunday

Before I zoomed off to telling you how I am feeling , i had been reading a few of my friend's blogs and found it depressing .

unfounded theory was a theory that the deep state of mind actually encounter the state of realization that no theory can daunt you . I am going bonker again saying this . Yesterday had a busy day meeting my friends , joyce n qi for lunch , peiwei n lp for shopping and leo , mark and jane for shopping at queensway . I feel so exhausted and realised that I am like running a show .

When was the last time u n me had a fun time together ? two person dating kind of thing . The sport outing that your friends are so excitated was idea from u during new year eve , i wonder why my leo like to keep saying he promise to be there but ended up he cant break what he promise but he can do that to me . I am starting to get tired out in a relationship where I feel like I am giving in and all he do is accomodate his friends , his work , his whatever . I am starting to feel that one day I might just give up what i am believing in , in love.

When I saw or heard my friend getitng married , i envy them seriously as they know what they want and believe in sharing their life with the other person . Sometime in the middle of the night , I would wake up scaring myself what am i doing with my life now , what i am doing in my relationship? am i not trying hard enough , or is you not trying hard for me . I feel so tired running this race .

reis

addicted to home

Recently I had been getting tired , feel that life is bored probably due to my introvert nature is inhibiting me now . I am going bonker even though I just got the textbooks from my friends . Really time not to be lazy and what I am afraid of school is dunno do i still have any friends left . But due to my lovable nature , yesterday when i was in school I meet so many friends . kel , wenjie , fabian, even mr . de sliva , surprised that he remembered me . haha but I also talk alot rubbish .

Looking forward to tml , having to play sport with wei. and well I am seriously not a home person unless U really got nothing to do or friend to go out. Indeed that is the reality of life that everyone is slogging hard . I was shocked when I received the CPF asking me to pay my poly sch fee. Another debt burden of$3.6k , so intend to pay by instalement . Dunno when can i tahan , mean save save save more money for rainy days .

meet dearie last night for dinner and din know his hp really flat , tot at least still can switch on to see got sms . I was too hungry by 8.30 and i started buying food . omg , when i saw this person backview so familar standing there for quite long ( short-sighted) so i walk closer and see dearie/ He must have gotten angry at me cos he is having gastric pAIN . I feel sorry but i dunno how to say it outloud given my prideful attitude. Anyway , i hope his work will goes smoothly .

Wants :

- to go botanical garden to walk walk
- go shopping


reis

A fresh start

no full view , cos no one take for me  sadly my killer heels had no photo ...

merri mint ice-creAM yummy





first dinner for new year at swesen

finally weAr the dress lp give me on b day to jessie's wedding

I guess I had the wildest imagination , my thoughts run wilds many time that make my dream surreal.

Happy new year ! A good start , i am down with cough , flu and sorethroat probably due to too much good f0od , insufficient sleep and partying .

Went to Mark emery's house for BBQ to welcome the coming new year . As the day before , we were having steamboat together at bugis , I was down with diarrhea which make me real weak. Finally resolve the last arguement with L and guess we make up and are together realising we really love one another . IT was 11.35pm then and dear wanna to rush to mark's house to be in time for new year . Yup , we reached there at 11.56pm to be exact and mark's mum was really nice to offer me some medicine and mark make me a big mug of honey water which was very nice gesture of him. I am touched because they are ppl who don't know me well but treat other nice. I am thankful that he even give me a present for christmas. His new gf jane was a cute cheerful girl. We stayed there till 5am playing Jenga and then we were all tired and dearie wanna to send us home , me and Gary. On the way back , he keep trying to make himself to stay alert enough to drive while i sleep fitfully. I guess I had a rather long sleep till 2pm?Before yen's sms me to attend jessie's gathering at vivo. By then , i become so sick that i cant crawl out of bed.

For 2008 , we compromise and write down the 3 Do's we must accomplish and to cherish.

gambatte !

reis